Sometimes i will run across a record or a band that gets way too close to what i'm feeling. It's like they were inside my heart feeling all the shit and the hurt and made a record out of all the torment inside. Lyrinx's "Nihilistic Purity" is that sort of intense emotional experience. The first time i put this on i was overwhelmed. Suddenly the room didn't exist anymore and all that was there were the screams and the depressions and the beautiful, hopeless music. What i really attach myself to in black metal, what i look for, is a real display of emotion and passion, whether it's in the form of nationalism or paganism or suicidal desperation or misanthropic contempt. If it's real, i can recognize it, and i can feel it, and it's unlike any other sort of feeling. It gets inside. This record is obviously my favorite kind, the depressive sort and what really gets me about it and why i love it so much is that there is no fucking around with these people. This music is what is keep them alive, much the same way i think about Trist. Four people have come together and made this amazing, hyper-sad record about how fucking painful and sorrowful it is to exist every fucking day with nothing getting better, nothing changing and no reason to think it will, and they push these sick feelings out of themselves in the form of one of the most impassioned, agonized, heartbreaking records that i've ever heard. Sometimes listening to this makes me cry, and that's been something that's been happening a lot more with me lately, but knowing this music is there and that someone else feels this helps a little and lets some of the shit out. Kind of an auditory form of cutting, i guess. The vocals are some of the best i have ever heard from any BM project, completely shrieking and pained and unintelligible and the music underneath is atmospheric and welling with sadness, like clouds of hurt billowing out and fogging down into the valleys of the listener's heart. It's a masterpiece.